Part 4- Belief Chapter 11-Forever Changed, Not Forever Damaged
It is very true that trauma changes a person. Those changes are forever with us. The whole point of this chapter is to show the reader that although a person is forever changed, they are not forever damaged or broken. A person can choose to move past the traumatic event and not allow it to damage them forever, or they can choose to remain in the grasp of the trauma, thus remaining damaged. If we as teachers pity students who have endured a traumatic experience and allow them to have lower expectations, then we are allowing them to remain in their damaged state. They need to be supported, challenged and given high expectations that will help them to move past their traumatic experience. They will be changed, but the do not need to remain damaged.
Once again, our relationship with the student is integral in helping them through their experience. Knowing their strengths, passions and potential will help us remind them or show them how to succeed and live up to the high expectations. Traumatic experiences have a profound impact on a student’s self-esteem, ability to self-regulate and overall belief in themselves. It is up to the adults in their lives to help them move away from these thoughts and behaviours.
Think about a student in your school that you know has experienced trauma. How do you approach this student? Do you use a strength-based approach or a deficit-based approach?
In thinking of my student, a little girl in Grade 4 who had a difficult beginning full of neglect, I believe that I have had lower expectations for her. She struggles academically as she displays many signs of a developmental delay and is awaiting further assessments through the Vancouver Island Children’s Assessment Network. I have been working with her since she was in Kindergarten and have always felt sorry for her, as she struggles in so many ways. This year however, I have decided to change my thinking. She is capable of learning far more than I give her credit for, I just need to find the right way to teach her. She is a delightful student who loves to learn. She gets so frustrated when she thinks she is not able to do so, going so far as to call herself a “dull pencil” and wishing she was a “sharp pencil.” Her perseverance should be a lesson for all of us and instead of pitying her, I should be looking up to her and all that she has overcome. She deserves a strength-based approach.
I too believe that I have had lower expectations for children who has experienced trauma. I am finding that I try to find the child’s strength, but when I talk with them about what they are good at they say video games. I try to have them think about what skills they are developing in order to be good at the game and how can those skills be brought into the classroom? The answer I get is “I don’t know” and then the conversation ends. Many are not willing to think about who they are and I am stuck on how to get them to move forward in thinking about their strengths. It’s like when I have a student sent to me for inappropriate behaviour. We talk about what is expected and what that looks like then I ask them what they will do next time they say, “I’ll be good”. Again I have to ask, “What does good look like?”. Children know the words but may not know what it means. That’s how I feel. I know the words, but I don’t know what it looks like in order to help these students move forward. How do I create a plan that works for a student when the attendance is so poor? Or when plans are set up, the students wants to do them, but due to lateness the plan falls apart because the support is no longer available?
I feel like I am always looking at the deficit model, but I don’t know how to turn it around when I’m knee deep in it and feel I no longer have the control to do “great” things. It all starts with us, but I’m not sure how to do that.
This week I took the opportunity to go to a one day training session with Paul Malette from CBI Consultants along with about 140 other people in caregiving roles – social workers, counsellors, foster parents, etc. I had an epiphany while there. I figured out that the Core Competencies may be a key to helping our students see their strengths. Imagine if we had a “Home Run” session with (or about) students (especially the ones in our schools with the most challenges) and “Noticed, Named and Nurtured” them in regards to the Core Competencies. Imagine them walking past the bus supervisor or their previous grade 2 teacher and being informed about their strengths (according to the home run session that was held the previous day). My hope is that if I use the Core Competencies, my students – when asked about their strengths – will not just say video games and “I don’t know.” Paul Malette’s workshop was about helping people -who have been affected by trauma- reconnect with their “real selves” and having others see that their challenging behaviour has helped them survival.