Everyone comes with baggage of one sort or another and that is absolutely ok. In our society, however, we are made to hide our feelings and pretend that everything is perfect, unless we are grieving over the loss of a loved one-and even at that we are expected to get over it quickly and move on. In reality though, not everything is perfect all the time. I think of my Mom and the sudden loss of her second husband, my step-father. It has been six years and the pain is still there, lingering underneath the surface. Some days are wonderful, spent enjoying life, while other days she just wants to hide under the blankets and hope that when she wakes up she finds that the past 6 years were all a dream and Duncan is still with us. And my sister and I just need to remember that it is ok for her to be like this. It is ok to be not-ok. Her pain is as real today as it was on September 30th of 2011 when we were informed of his sudden passing. The only difference is that the pain has lessened through time and I am sure that it will continue to do so. As her daughter I need to be there to support her thought that pain.

Our students require that same support and understanding. We need to realize that, every day wen they step through the doors of the school, they might not be ok, and that is ok. They will need our love, care and attention more that day to help support the through their difficult time and that’s ok too. They might not be ready to learn everything we have to offer them at that time, and that is also ok. However, we must strive to support them through their difficult days so that they do not remain entrenched in their feelings. We need to help them learn to balance life and life’s troubles so that they can continue to move forward.

In order to continue to move forward, it is crucial for us to have a “person.” Someone who is there for us in our time of need, to help support us through the difficult times and to encourage us to move forward. For some, this might be a family member, for others, it is a close friend and others still it might be someone they just met, but the need for that “person” is there. For my Mom, I believe it is me. Her and I have spent countless hours on the phone and on Facetime, talking about life, what is new, what is going on in our worlds, encouraging each other to move forward through the hard times. She also has my sister, who lives in the same city, who makes her join different classes like crocheting class and quilting class. They even do paint nights and other small activities together. For me, my friend Jamie is my person. She helps me through my dark days, takes me out and reminds me that I am special and important to many people. Without these “safe people” I am sure that many people feel alone and possibly end up with mental health struggles like depression and suicidal thoughts and actions.

Who are the “safe people” in your lives? What has made them safe? How do they support you in times of need?

Are you a “safe person” for any of your students? How do you support them in their times of need? How do you know that you are their “person?”