Understand the Mistaken Goal: Revenge
According to this section, revenge can begin at any time- it can begin at home, on the playground, etc, then taken out on anyone, including you, the teacher. The belief of the child with the mistaken goal of revenge is that they don’t feel they belong, which hurts them, so they will get even by hurting others. In these situations, it is important for the adults to validate their feelings.
It is important to note that children who are bullying others fall into this category of revenge.
Once again, connections with our students are super important. When children feel connected, wanted and loved, they are less likely to retaliate and seek revenge on others for their hurt feelings. In our school, we survey the students to ensure that they feel connected to 2 adults in the school building. If they cannot name at least 2 adults, we “target” these kids to ensure that by the end of the year, they felt a sense of belonging and connectedness with at least 2 adults. I encourage everyone to look for the kids who may not have any connections to the adults around them and try to make a connection with them.
- What are some ways in which you might build a bond with a student in your building?